Sunday, May 29, 2011

26th May - School's Out

After three relaxing days in Cornwall, and me fantasizing that maybe life was nicer (and better) there, I was brought down to earth with a bump. I'd been in a fantasy world, the food as better, pace of life slower, and people friendlier and politer.

We made the mistake of travelling at school home time. At home, I won't go out in my car any more between 2.30pm and 4pm. I just don't need the hassle and whilst it sounds melodramatic, I don't want to be the one, tha knocks a child over. I want to keep the risk at a minimum.

It's also very stressful to drive at that time. In Rolleston, the mums park, blocking drives, my road (literally parking on both sides, so its impossible to get past), on corners, not leaving 'pull in gaps'. I've been stuck in a stale mate twice. I've not moved for 10 minutes where a bus and a lorry met along the road, and neither could reverse easily or pull in anywhere. I've been made to turn around and go another way home, (ironically past the school). I've also had abuse thrown at me by a mother who cared so much about children's safety that she abandoned her car on yellow paint. (PS I pointed that out to her). So if I'm not at work, I don't go out. I can understand the morning drop off, there for 30seconds on the way to work, but I just don't get the afternoons.

(It seemed to be the same in Devon, with cars parked on already narrow roads making them almost impassable.)

If mums, and it is usually mums, were picking the kids up on the way from work I could understand, but they aren't. They are all made up to the nines, half an hour early in their cars to stand in the playground and gossip whilst the passing traffic negotiate the chaos outside.

This is why working mums refer to housewives as JUST a housewife. I didn't have time for the niceties of small talk, I was out earning a living, and then returning home to keep the dust down and look after my son. Meanwhile, you've washed up a few pots, wandered down to some coffee morning, perhaps done a bit of shopping and then pushed a hoover around. Please will you explain how this hard work stops you walking down to the school instead of driving. Please can you explain how parking erratically so that passing traffic wouldn't see a child run between two cars into the road is safer. I've had this revolutionary idea. Leave your car at home, walk down to the school and pick the kids up. Then walk home again. You'll keep your weight down, you won't need that expensive gym membership, the kids will do some exercise, and get rid of the excess energy from being in a classroon all day, and you can gossip with the mums on your way home. One hour on foot, or one hour doing your make up and gossiping.

Living close to a school, I always thought that I missed out, because I didn't have to walk far before I was home, and I envied my class mates who walked home together for about a mile. There was always a Nice or Cow Biscuit waiting for me (malted milk), and a drink. It's not always the food that gets children fat, its the lack of exercise the get. I wonder why children and their mothers are getting fatter.

Schools Out - I understand why a bloke with long hair and Kohl Eyeliner is called Alice Cooper.

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